It's a Goodbye World

Living in Shenzhen, I was first exposed to the revolving door of expat life. I watched mostly from the sidelines a constant stream of exits and entrances of new foreign families around Shekou, new faces I would see at Starbucks or on the playground. We had a few friends that were on the expat merry-go-round, but since we did not live in the normal expat neighborhoods, we did not have the opportunity to socialize much with these come-and-go families. Among our closest friends were people with longer ties to South China--Chinese friends that had grown up in Shenzhen (rare people indeed!), foreign men with local attachments (sometimes married, sometimes serial co-habitators), and other expat families with long-term designs on staying in China. There were a few friends' departures during our time in Shenzhen, but many of the people to whom we bid farewell when we ourselves left are still there. We happily visit them during what has become our annual October holiday return.

In Beijing, we have again gravitated towards friendships with people with more permanent ties to China. I don't think this is intentional, but more likely about our, once again, living outside the expat world. It is nice, though, to have steady friendships when you know there is so much transience around us. Just in the six months I have been writing for local expat family magazine Beijing Kids, there has been a turnover of three columnists among the rotating cast of four regulars.

Nothing can prevent the eventual goodbyes that come with life anyway. We simply weren't prepared for so many, so soon.  We are now watching friends prepare to make big moves that even a few months ago didn't seem likely. One family that has lived in Changping for several years, and even owns a house here, is contemplating a move to Shenyang. A Canadian friend with more than a decade in Beijing has decided that the China chapter in her life will soon close. And another foreign family, so committed to life in China that their children attend local schools (and thrive, I might add), has surprised us all with a sudden relocation to Hong Kong.

While this exodus might be normal for regular expats, it hasn't been in our five years, or at least not so all-at-once. We'll be leaving for our summer US trip in the next few days, and when we get back, Beijing won't be the same.