弟子规 (Di Zi Gui)
There's been so much discussion of Asian and Asian-American parenting recently, with Amy Chua's memoir and the uproar it caused. I haven't written much about it because I really don't have much more to contribute that what is already out there, and then some.
I have a friend that is very interested in ancient Chinese culture, and not just as academic curiosity. She wants to incorporate more of the ancient ideals into the way she lives. Over Spring Festival she and her daughter spent a few days at a Buddhist camp in Huairou. And as she has pulled her daughter from kindergarten, she has taken it upon herself for her daughter to learn from the Analects of Confucius.
Last week she gave me my own copy of 弟子规 (Di Zi Gui), known in English as the Standards for Being a Good Student and Child, from the Analects of Confucius. She had received several copies from another friend of hers whose employer had printed them for distribution to associates, clients, and shareholders. Some companies print calendars or planners to go along with their promotional copy, but this particular consulting company printed their corporate literature with Di Zi Gui included. The grey-end pages are from Confucius; the others are standard corporate hand-out fare: information about the company and its global offices, tables of the the telephone exchanges for China's provinces, shipping container yields charts, and a planning calendar.
Di Zi Gui was written for memorization. Each line in three characters long. What is particularly unique about this copy (other than it being printed by a consulting company), is that each line of characters is accompanied by the Hanyu Pinyin for pronunciation and the English translation.
My friend admitted to me that I may find some of the ideals "old-fashioned," but she believed that these were still effective goals for children. Study hard, serve and obey your parents-- all values we associate with traditional Asian culture. Here's a section on reading only one book at a time.
Some of the footnotes are particularly good. For instance, on this page children are reminded of how good they have it now. In olden times a parent could ask to have their child executed.
My friend reviews these with her daughter, and if her daughter misbehaves, they recite the applicable section. Her daughter responds with her head hung in shame.
I am filing this under "Explains a Lot." Considering what a struggle it is sometimes to get Myles to study what little Chinese homework he has from his tutor, I don't think we'll start memorizing these yet. It might make for a good threat, though.
I have a friend that is very interested in ancient Chinese culture, and not just as academic curiosity. She wants to incorporate more of the ancient ideals into the way she lives. Over Spring Festival she and her daughter spent a few days at a Buddhist camp in Huairou. And as she has pulled her daughter from kindergarten, she has taken it upon herself for her daughter to learn from the Analects of Confucius.
Last week she gave me my own copy of 弟子规 (Di Zi Gui), known in English as the Standards for Being a Good Student and Child, from the Analects of Confucius. She had received several copies from another friend of hers whose employer had printed them for distribution to associates, clients, and shareholders. Some companies print calendars or planners to go along with their promotional copy, but this particular consulting company printed their corporate literature with Di Zi Gui included. The grey-end pages are from Confucius; the others are standard corporate hand-out fare: information about the company and its global offices, tables of the the telephone exchanges for China's provinces, shipping container yields charts, and a planning calendar.
Di Zi Gui was written for memorization. Each line in three characters long. What is particularly unique about this copy (other than it being printed by a consulting company), is that each line of characters is accompanied by the Hanyu Pinyin for pronunciation and the English translation.
My friend admitted to me that I may find some of the ideals "old-fashioned," but she believed that these were still effective goals for children. Study hard, serve and obey your parents-- all values we associate with traditional Asian culture. Here's a section on reading only one book at a time.
Some of the footnotes are particularly good. For instance, on this page children are reminded of how good they have it now. In olden times a parent could ask to have their child executed.
My friend reviews these with her daughter, and if her daughter misbehaves, they recite the applicable section. Her daughter responds with her head hung in shame.
I am filing this under "Explains a Lot." Considering what a struggle it is sometimes to get Myles to study what little Chinese homework he has from his tutor, I don't think we'll start memorizing these yet. It might make for a good threat, though.
Comments
When we realized that Gabe was gifted musically we got a beautiful piano for him to play on (he was around 6 at the time). About six months into it he told us that he didn't want to take lessons any more. We were crushed and really debated whether or not we should force him to maintain lessons. In the end, we decided that it had to be his choice. He stayed away from the piano for about 4 or 5 months after that. Then one day he announced at breakfast that he wanted to start lessons again. When we asked why he told us that he had written a song. That was his first composition - "Antoine, The Final Collapse". We were stunned at how beautiful it was. Apparently he just need to come to his gift on his own terms. I often reflect on how we could have damaged that gift irrevocably if we would have taken away his choice.
Jenn, I think a great deal depends on one's financial situation. I begged for piano lessons, so my parents sacrificed to buy lessons and later a used piano which they refinished and refurbished themselves. I wanted to quit a few times, but would have felt ashamed to have put them through all the effort. On the other hand, my youngest brother quit without any problem but regrets it.
In my hometown, parents obviously would not kill their children. However, there was emancipation if they were incorrigible and took too much resources from the rest of the family. It was a last resort, and sometimes a parent could straighten a toughguy out just by having him sit down and figure out his budget for rent, food, etc. I don't think it hurt that there was an apartment complex near the high school that had several emancipated students living there, so we'd hear about having to balance work with studies (and sometimes children, too).
On the flip side, I have been surprised by the audacity of suburban teenagers. Despite the economy, it's a common threat to move out of their parents' home. One of my friends has two headstrong boys who have a very nice lifestyle, with few chores and plenty of time for friends, sports and technology. However, one baits his father and mother by saying he's going to get himself emancipated. They ignore his bluff. But I know a divorced mother who pleaded with her daughter to stay even though the girl doesn't have a job and certainly doesn't want to live with the non-custodial father. Now she rules the roost. It boggles my mind.