The Return of the Native (Cousin Balki edition)
As expected, Myles' re-entry into American life has involved his discovery of uniquely American things. In grocery stores and Target, as in previous trips home, he is unable to contain his awe. Just yesterday shopping in my hometown's one small market, he could have been overheard saying such things as:
"Is that what American Gatorade looks like? I've been wondering about that."
"Mom, did you see the size of those 7-Up bottles? I've never seen so much 7-Up in one place!"
I enjoy so much about these kinds of observations from him because they change trip-to-trip with his ever-changing perspective. Previous times he might have not cared about drink bottles and especially 3-liter bottles, but this time he is, possibly since this has been the first year he's been allowed to drink Gatorade or 7-Up.
One thing, though, which has been really tough for me to take, is his recent commenting on all the kids he sees. Even in my small hometown, a Rust-belt town in decline, he can't help but talk about all the kids he sees.
"There must be a lot of kids living in Kane," he says, adding, "not like China."
There aren't really, not compared to when I was a child, or when my mother was a child, and every house on every block was the home to families with multiple children (or so it seemed). Only a few years ago on a Summer evening walk with my sister Kate, we remarked to one another that it seemed so sad that Kane seemed to have fewer kids than before, and that most of those kids who were there were not out playing on this beautiful night, probably choosing Super Mario Brothers over bike riding. The streets were too quiet, we agreed. But this weekend, Myles was absolutely beside himself, unable to believe that so many kids lived in such a small town. It was not at all like China to him.
"Is that what American Gatorade looks like? I've been wondering about that."
"Mom, did you see the size of those 7-Up bottles? I've never seen so much 7-Up in one place!"
I enjoy so much about these kinds of observations from him because they change trip-to-trip with his ever-changing perspective. Previous times he might have not cared about drink bottles and especially 3-liter bottles, but this time he is, possibly since this has been the first year he's been allowed to drink Gatorade or 7-Up.
One thing, though, which has been really tough for me to take, is his recent commenting on all the kids he sees. Even in my small hometown, a Rust-belt town in decline, he can't help but talk about all the kids he sees.
"There must be a lot of kids living in Kane," he says, adding, "not like China."
There aren't really, not compared to when I was a child, or when my mother was a child, and every house on every block was the home to families with multiple children (or so it seemed). Only a few years ago on a Summer evening walk with my sister Kate, we remarked to one another that it seemed so sad that Kane seemed to have fewer kids than before, and that most of those kids who were there were not out playing on this beautiful night, probably choosing Super Mario Brothers over bike riding. The streets were too quiet, we agreed. But this weekend, Myles was absolutely beside himself, unable to believe that so many kids lived in such a small town. It was not at all like China to him.
Comments
It's good to be home!
Yes, it is sad that there are so many fewer children in the US than there used to be...and even sadder for China that that looks like a lot of kids to Myles.
Susan Peterson
I thought the laws most likely did not apply to you, but I was wondering about the law internalized in the minds of the people affecting you as social pressure. Social pressure certainly happens here as well, but it seems that the Chinese are less tolerant of divergence from social norms. Do you think this is a just statement?
I wondered whether this is a factor that would affect your plans, since it seems you will be in China long term. Of course, China's typical small family also affects things like the size of apartments available.
I guess even here, there is an issue that most cars, even mini vans, for some families will not seat belt the number of children who are legally required to be seat belted/car seated. I do remember being told in one place even in the 1970's that they didn't accept families with 2 children because 2 was the maximum allowed there, and they didn't want to have to kick out people if the woman became pregnant. Another similar place I asked about that and they told me that in ten years since the complex was built, no one had even had a third child. I looked elsewhere for an apartment! At least there were still other places less regulated to look.
So even in the US this sort of thing affects people when they consider having another child. I was wondering if even for foreigners, such things would be even more acute in China.
Susan Peterson