Western excess, toys edition
During our first year in Shenzhen, I would occasionally meet other expat women who were surprised we lived where we did in such a small apartment. Among my laugh-it-off responses was one that usually went along the lines of "Well, when I have my Chinese friends over I'm not embarrassed by living in Western excess." And it was somewhat true; the first time some from our church visited us, they couldn't help but to show surprise. They thought foreigners lived in bigger homes, especially there in Shekou. Other than square-footage, though, our foreign excess has been inescapable.
Our most obvious Western-style excess (other than kitchen tools and books) has to be our family's toys. Most days I look around at what Myles and Brigid have, and I think that compared to many American families, we don't have too much. I try to tell myself it only feels like too much when they are scattered all over the floor. We don't have any video game systems, so most everything Myles has (Legos, blocks, knights, trains, etc) gets played with regularly. However, most of the time when we have Chinese friends over to the house, they cannot believe his volume of toys.
I've even attempted to make it seem like we don't have that much. There have been times when I have hidden half of them away in anticipation of a visit, and we still hear disbelief at what Myles and Brigid have. One time in the park Brigid was in her stroller playing with a rattle. A girl of about nine years old asked me if the baby had other toys at home. I understated by a lot when I told her we had eight or nine at home, thinking this was a modest number. It wasn't. Her eyes widened as she repeated back to me that the baby had NINE toys. She just couldn't believe it.
This year for Christmas, Santa left only small piles for both kids, with about half of what they received being books.
We knew that our families would be exceedingly generous in making up any shortfall. What amazingly generous families we have, by the way!
Chinese families that we've known and lived among spend their money on their children differently. Myles would have to be absolutely failing miserably for us to sign him up for some sort of after-school tutoring service. When we lived in Shenzhen, we saw that the cram schools near our garden were always packed with kids until late at night, all of them trying to score the best they could on high school and college placement tests. And Myles' best playmate in Changping, a five- year-old local boy, has a lot of educational computer games and spends hours playing them.
Again, as I compare to what other kids I know in the US have, I don't think we have that much. I've wondered, though, if a few factors contribute to making it look EXCESSIVE to Chinese guests to our home. One, of course, is that we now have two kids, and the volume of two would not be something reflected in most Chinese homes today. Additionally, the quality of many domestically-sold toys in China leaves much to be desired. Most of the toys we've bought for or were give to Myles that were made for the Chinese market have broken within a few months of play. I'm sure that is the experience of many Chinese kids. While nearly all of his toys are made in China, most could not be purchased there (through legal channels, that is). He has Thomas trains from the time he was two, and some of his were inherited from his older cousin, all in fantastic played-with but not broken condition. Some of his Legos and blocks are four or five years old. None of these have broken. What our visitors see are six years of accumulated toys still in great playing shape.
But when they come to our house, a home of now two children, it seems to so many of them that we are excessive and over-indulgent. It embarrasses me, but obviously not enough to change our lifestyle.
I've even attempted to make it seem like we don't have that much. There have been times when I have hidden half of them away in anticipation of a visit, and we still hear disbelief at what Myles and Brigid have. One time in the park Brigid was in her stroller playing with a rattle. A girl of about nine years old asked me if the baby had other toys at home. I understated by a lot when I told her we had eight or nine at home, thinking this was a modest number. It wasn't. Her eyes widened as she repeated back to me that the baby had NINE toys. She just couldn't believe it.
This year for Christmas, Santa left only small piles for both kids, with about half of what they received being books.
We knew that our families would be exceedingly generous in making up any shortfall. What amazingly generous families we have, by the way!Chinese families that we've known and lived among spend their money on their children differently. Myles would have to be absolutely failing miserably for us to sign him up for some sort of after-school tutoring service. When we lived in Shenzhen, we saw that the cram schools near our garden were always packed with kids until late at night, all of them trying to score the best they could on high school and college placement tests. And Myles' best playmate in Changping, a five- year-old local boy, has a lot of educational computer games and spends hours playing them.
Again, as I compare to what other kids I know in the US have, I don't think we have that much. I've wondered, though, if a few factors contribute to making it look EXCESSIVE to Chinese guests to our home. One, of course, is that we now have two kids, and the volume of two would not be something reflected in most Chinese homes today. Additionally, the quality of many domestically-sold toys in China leaves much to be desired. Most of the toys we've bought for or were give to Myles that were made for the Chinese market have broken within a few months of play. I'm sure that is the experience of many Chinese kids. While nearly all of his toys are made in China, most could not be purchased there (through legal channels, that is). He has Thomas trains from the time he was two, and some of his were inherited from his older cousin, all in fantastic played-with but not broken condition. Some of his Legos and blocks are four or five years old. None of these have broken. What our visitors see are six years of accumulated toys still in great playing shape.
But when they come to our house, a home of now two children, it seems to so many of them that we are excessive and over-indulgent. It embarrasses me, but obviously not enough to change our lifestyle.
Comments
Becky