"What you white people want"
When my new OB said this to us at our initial appointment, she wasn't being rude or dismissive. She was being reassuring, that she would get me booked into a hospital in Hong Kong that could accommodate our expectations. In a way, I laughed inwardly, thinking about those hysterical self-lampooning blogs like "What White People Like" and "What Catholics Like." I wonder if my Chinese friends would laugh at my desire to have regular OB appointments, a private room and round-the-clock rooming-in with the new baby. But first, back to April 30.
We were at lunch after my appointment with my regular doctor when he called me back. He had scheduled an OB appointment for me for immediately after the holiday weekend. This OB he particularly recommended because his wife and the other partners in the practice had also used her for their own children. Later internet research on expat websites would show that she was a maternal-fetal medical specialist. As if obstetrics weren't specialized enough, maternal-fetal medicine specializes further in risk-pregnancies. I would love to be one of those who bear the banner that "Thirty-five is NOT advanced maternal age!" However, even as a lay-person I can look at my medical history and know that at 35 or 34 or whatever, I will need extra attention during this and any future pregnancies. My Pittsburgh OB had already counseled me last year that I would need to see a maternal-fetal medical specialist in the US if I were able to achieve pregnancy again.
Right after the May Day holiday we were in the OB's office. She was upfront about the challenges of getting me into any private hospital as so late in my pregnancy (at this point I wasn't even 11 weeks). I was again told that Matilda would be out of the question, and I again said we were fine with that because we couldn't afford them anyway. Any hospital she chose for us would require a HK$40,000 security deposit. Once she could get us a space, I would have to return to Hong Kong to pay the deposit, otherwise I would lose that booking. I was pretty much looking at the booking-of-last resort at this point.
The rest of the appointment went exceedingly well. She has a ultra-sound in her office (what a luxury! for anywhere!) so we got to see the baby, as Myles described it, "swimming in mommy's tummy." She gave me vitamins, discussed a possible birth plan, where I got confused. Because of my history, she said we will probably consider induction at 37 weeks if I make it that far without already going into labor. So I asked her if my hospital bed would be reserved for that day instead of my due date. She explained to me that my booking would still be for my due date, but as things progressed would we likely go in earlier. I found this almost as confusing as the process of reserving a hospital bed for a day that in reality comes when it comes. As I always say, babies don't come when you are ready; they come when they are ready.
She handed me brochures for all the private hospitals she would try to book for us. We would basically have to take what we could get; the time to shop around had already passed. I asked her about other public and private hospitals, like ones my Chinese friends had used or were planning to use. She said that the only ones she would recommend to us were those that could provide the services that "you western foreigners would want." Additionally, because even as American foreigners we fell under the classification as "Mainlanders" because legally we are, the price for public and private hospitals would be about the same, so private hospital it would be. She wanted to know if we had further questions, so I ran through a list of things that were important to us, like father in the delivery room, rooming-in, etc. She said, yes, the hospitals she would try to get us into would give us "what you white people want."
We were at lunch after my appointment with my regular doctor when he called me back. He had scheduled an OB appointment for me for immediately after the holiday weekend. This OB he particularly recommended because his wife and the other partners in the practice had also used her for their own children. Later internet research on expat websites would show that she was a maternal-fetal medical specialist. As if obstetrics weren't specialized enough, maternal-fetal medicine specializes further in risk-pregnancies. I would love to be one of those who bear the banner that "Thirty-five is NOT advanced maternal age!" However, even as a lay-person I can look at my medical history and know that at 35 or 34 or whatever, I will need extra attention during this and any future pregnancies. My Pittsburgh OB had already counseled me last year that I would need to see a maternal-fetal medical specialist in the US if I were able to achieve pregnancy again.
Right after the May Day holiday we were in the OB's office. She was upfront about the challenges of getting me into any private hospital as so late in my pregnancy (at this point I wasn't even 11 weeks). I was again told that Matilda would be out of the question, and I again said we were fine with that because we couldn't afford them anyway. Any hospital she chose for us would require a HK$40,000 security deposit. Once she could get us a space, I would have to return to Hong Kong to pay the deposit, otherwise I would lose that booking. I was pretty much looking at the booking-of-last resort at this point.
The rest of the appointment went exceedingly well. She has a ultra-sound in her office (what a luxury! for anywhere!) so we got to see the baby, as Myles described it, "swimming in mommy's tummy." She gave me vitamins, discussed a possible birth plan, where I got confused. Because of my history, she said we will probably consider induction at 37 weeks if I make it that far without already going into labor. So I asked her if my hospital bed would be reserved for that day instead of my due date. She explained to me that my booking would still be for my due date, but as things progressed would we likely go in earlier. I found this almost as confusing as the process of reserving a hospital bed for a day that in reality comes when it comes. As I always say, babies don't come when you are ready; they come when they are ready.
She handed me brochures for all the private hospitals she would try to book for us. We would basically have to take what we could get; the time to shop around had already passed. I asked her about other public and private hospitals, like ones my Chinese friends had used or were planning to use. She said that the only ones she would recommend to us were those that could provide the services that "you western foreigners would want." Additionally, because even as American foreigners we fell under the classification as "Mainlanders" because legally we are, the price for public and private hospitals would be about the same, so private hospital it would be. She wanted to know if we had further questions, so I ran through a list of things that were important to us, like father in the delivery room, rooming-in, etc. She said, yes, the hospitals she would try to get us into would give us "what you white people want."
Comments
Congratulations on your pregnancy. I will pray for smooth sailing....