Would the rules apply to me
Outside the school cafeteria where the English-language Mass is held, I noticed some new rules printed in several languages. I pointed them out to Randy, particularly Rule #1, "Ayis may deliver a student's lunch but cannot remain in the lunchroom." I asked Randy what if a parent delivered the lunch, would they be permitted to stay?
Randy looked at me and asked, "Why would a parent deliver lunch?" And we laughed.
I am still struggling with the ayi culture among the foreigners here (and to some extent even among Chinese). I am not opposed to it, but there have been a few things I've observed that make me uneasy.
For instance, the English-language Mass is attended by Filipinos and white foreigners alike. A few times I've watched kids leave their parents' side and go and sit on the lap of their Filipina nanny instead. I mean, it's a good thing if you can get a nurturing adult that gets along well with the kids and the kids love and trust. But it seemed the kids in these families chose to snuggle their nanny and not their parents.
I know the more I talk or write about this, the higher the likelihood I will have to get an ayi. I don't believe in Karma, but that would end up being my luck. I just watched a friend practically debilitated with early pregnancy problems surrender to the full-time do-everything ayi. That was hard for her, but it was necessary to keep her family fed and in clean underwear. She was just that sick. As I've blogged before most of us in the states have a sister or sister-in-law or mother that would help us in those situations. In their absence, I would have to settle for an "auntie."
But in the meantime, I'll just be odd, amazing Starbucks employees and Randy's former assistant alike with my amazing abilities to care for one child, do laundry, and even cook dinner a few nights a week, all on my own.
Randy looked at me and asked, "Why would a parent deliver lunch?" And we laughed.
I am still struggling with the ayi culture among the foreigners here (and to some extent even among Chinese). I am not opposed to it, but there have been a few things I've observed that make me uneasy.
For instance, the English-language Mass is attended by Filipinos and white foreigners alike. A few times I've watched kids leave their parents' side and go and sit on the lap of their Filipina nanny instead. I mean, it's a good thing if you can get a nurturing adult that gets along well with the kids and the kids love and trust. But it seemed the kids in these families chose to snuggle their nanny and not their parents.
I know the more I talk or write about this, the higher the likelihood I will have to get an ayi. I don't believe in Karma, but that would end up being my luck. I just watched a friend practically debilitated with early pregnancy problems surrender to the full-time do-everything ayi. That was hard for her, but it was necessary to keep her family fed and in clean underwear. She was just that sick. As I've blogged before most of us in the states have a sister or sister-in-law or mother that would help us in those situations. In their absence, I would have to settle for an "auntie."
But in the meantime, I'll just be odd, amazing Starbucks employees and Randy's former assistant alike with my amazing abilities to care for one child, do laundry, and even cook dinner a few nights a week, all on my own.
Comments
http://app1.chinadaily.com.cn/star/2001/0412/fo6-1.html
A month's labor for the price of a cashmere sweater? Perhaps that's why folks here in the States are at odds over immigration: some find that an attractive option (those whose livelihood is not vulnerable to overseas encroachment) while others fear relegation to serfdom (laid-off workers whose livelihood has been shipped overseas)
(*) in the CN domain so I presume not blocked but here's the text just in case:
"Ayis'weals and woes" by Susan Xu, Shanghai Star. 2001-04-12
Working in foreign homes can be demanding,but the salary seems too dear to be missed for former laid-off workers. Former laid-off workers learn how to iron clothes at the Shanghai Women's Education & Training Centre. In addition to household chores, these women should master some basic English and Western etiquette before they go to foreign homes to work as domestic helpers.
FROM the point of view of an unemployed woman struggling to help support her family, the job as ayi, a domestic helper for a foreign family, may seem to have more benefits than drawbacks.
But Xiao Youmei said she broke into tears several times while working as an ayi for a French diplomat's family because of harsh treatment from the mistress.
Xiao is one of the hundreds of domestic helpers working for staff members of consulates, foreign news agencies and foreign-invested companies.
"Her mood changes too quickly and it's difficult for me to understand," Xiao said. "If she feels dissatisfied with the work of one of us, she will shout at all of us. She even slapped one temporary worker's face because of his carelessness."
Before Xiao came to work for the family, three domestic helpers were fired by the French mistress.
Xiao, who is Catholic, said she always prays that her boss will smile the next day, which will put all the other ayis in a good mood all day long.
"But I am used to that after staying there for about half a year. That's her personality," said Xiao. "Western people are more straightforward than Asians. They express directly what they think and have less consideration for others' feelings."
Xiao is envious of a friend who works for a Japanese family. The family treats her well and always gives her small gifts.
But sometimes Asian people are also difficult to deal with, said Wang Peihua who used to work for a Japanese school.
"Japanese put an extremely high importance to sanitation," Wang said.
To clean the floor, there are three steps which can't be missed according to Japanese demands. First use the duster, then use a wet mop to wipe the floor. Finally, a rag must be used to rub the floor clean. The Japanese even use the toothpick to examine if there is dirt in the corner of the bathroom.
"Some people even listed some special conditions that are hard to understand," said Qian Qinyu, manager of an agency specializing in domestic help.
Once a woman from Hong Kong demanded that the birthday of the babysitter should be in the months of July to September and she could not have been born in the year of the snake. And a South Korean demanded that his ayi should wear glasses.
"I was hesitant about taking up the job for a long time," Xiao said. "I don't have enough time and energy to take care of my own family, so if it had not been for the good pay, I'd rather choose another job."
Working from 9:00am to 8:00pm Monday through Friday, Xiao said she could get about 1,800 yuan ($220) per month. "If parties are held at home, the mistress will give me more money," Xiao said. "Her merit is that she is never stingy to people."
"But foreign people are getting more and more stingy about pay these days," Qian, the agency manager, said. "It is not high, but some people still bargain with us repeatedly."
Once a family even bargained with Qian for three days. In the end, the family managed to lower her monthly pay from 1,400 yuan ($170) to 1,200 yuan ($145).
Most ayis happy
Currently, the average pay for a domestic helper working for a foreign family is about 10 to 12 yuan ($1.2 to 1.5) per hour, almost double the pay of working for a Chinese family. The difficulty between Xiao's French mistress and the domestic help seems to be an isolated case. Most foreign people are easy to get along with and happy with Chinese domestic helpers, according to the people who work for them.
Douglas Carey, a businessman from New York, is busy looking for an ayi these days because he is bringing his family to Pudong.
"I will probably hire three people so we will have help during the day and at night," he said. "We are very comfortable hiring Chinese people because I already have 20 Chinese employees and find that they are very good workers and have a good attitude."
Huang Zhixian, a teacher at the Shanghai Women's Education & Training Centre said before going back to their own countries, many foreign people try to find other positions for their ayis by recommending them to their friends who are still living in Shanghai.
The centre used to be a training school for women cadres. Now it provides job-training programmes for laid-off workers.
An old woman from the Netherlands even took her Chinese ayi abroad. "She said she is happy and used to having the Chinese helper accompanying her," Huang said. To win the approval of an employer, the key is quality of service.
"If you're not familiar with the lifestyle of a foreign family, you won't last a week," Ayi Wang Peihua said.
Domestic help in foreign homes are all trained.
"With the demand for domestic help continually rising, we think it's necessary to give standard training to these women," said an official with Shanghai Women's Education & Training Centre.
Classes for domestic helpers for foreign families began in 1995, and has trained over 1,000 people for these jobs.
"In fact, the first part of the training is not to improve their skills but to better their perception of the job," Huang said. "Most women think the job is of very low status before they are trained."
Ayi Xiao said she even didn't tell her husband and child about attending the training class. "I felt I was losing face to learn cooking and cleaning," she said.
Many women find it difficult to struggle so hard to learn a job they perceive as menial.
"Our training aims to make them more confident," Huang added.
During the three-month training, the women learn English, baby-sitting, Western etiquette, cleaning, table setting, washing and ironing, Western cooking and flower arranging.
"After the training, almost all women can be qualified domestic helpers for a foreign family," Huang said.
If not the training, Xiao said she wouldn't know how to wash the cashmere sweaters which cost over 1,000 yuan ($120) and how to use different kinds of electrical appliances.
"Even if I don't do the job in the future, what I learned in the centre will benefit me a lot," Xiao said.
Finding an English-speaking ayi:
1. Contact Shanghai Women's Education & Training Centre. The centre has experience giving training classes and has contact with many agencies. Call 6323-1174-530 or fax 6321-3418.
2. Shanghai Yidian Family Service Centre is an agency specialized in providing family servants.
Tel: 6511-2074.