Word choices, not my choice

As it turns out, Putonghua (Mandarin) has multiple expressions for the loss of the child. Different words are used if a baby dies during childbirth than when a child dies after birth. However. the phrase I've been advised to use, Hai ze liu chan le, is for me a disturbing catch-all. It is used for loss due to miscarriage, a stillbirth, and even abortion. When Randy learned this from his assistant, he was upset, knowing I would never want to give the impression that I had an abortion. She assured him that it would be clear which use I intended. If they are asking about the baby, they knew I was very pregnant when I left China. They will see how sad I am when I tell them and likely be certain that I didn't choose to have an abortion. And besides, she added, in China enough women have experience with or awareness of forced abortions, even late-term abortions, because of local enforcement of the one-child policy, that they have an understanding of what we are experiencing.
I want one of the other words, I begged Randy last night when he told me what he had learned after I started saying Hai ze liu chan le. I would rather be innacurate in the facts.
He told me no. This was what I was supposed to say.