Rambling Mommy Post

So for the past three days, totally saturated with streaming video in my head of New Orleans, I have become the clingiest Mommy imaginable. Anytime Myles wants picked up, I oblige and hug him tightly. When I go to put him in or take him out of his car seat, I hold onto him a few moments. He must sense something's up, because he'll rest his head against my cheek and give me lovey son looks.
I wasn't like this last Christmas after the tsunami; well, maybe a little, but not nearly as much. Having been to New Orleans a bunch of times, I am as familiar with the pre-Katrina city as just about anyone who might also enjoy visiting there a lot. So when I see some of these scenes unfold on TV in front of landmarks and buildings and neighborhoods I recognize and sometimes even remember with affection, it becomes all the more wrenching. I know this place, and it is close to me, close enough to feel real. The tsunami news was so overwhelmingly bad that it didn't always feel real. Hundreds of thousands dead and disappeared just didn't seem as real as this is now.
I haven't assembled his crib in the new house yet, so he continues to sleep in the bed with me. I really do want him to sleep independently because it is necessary for him. Right now, if he wakes up a little in the middle of the night and I've gone to the bathroom, he screams and is difficult to settle down. He needs a little more--well whatever it is that helps him become a well-adjusted little boy. Space?
But with all that we have been reading and watching, I'm not ready to separate from him yet either, if even by only a few yards. I just need to keep him so close......