Laura Bush, commedienne (File these under you said it!)

In case you missed Laura Bush's remarks the other night, you can find them here. Her delivery was quite a bit better than her daughters' at the Republican Convention, but I wish they would stay away from the Barbara Bush is old jokes. Those ones seem a little strained.
Here are some of my favorite excerpts.

I am married to the president of the United States, and here's our typical evening: Nine o'clock, Mr. Excitement here is sound asleep, and I'm watching "Desperate Housewives" — with Lynne Cheney. Ladies and gentlemen, I AM a desperate housewife. I mean, if those women on that show think they're desperate, they oughta' be with George.

One night, after George went to bed, Lynne Cheney, Condi Rice, Karen Hughes and I went to Chippendale's. I wouldn't even mention it except Ruth Ginsberg and Sandra Day O'Connor saw us there. I won't tell you what happened, but Lynne's Secret Service codename is now "Dollar Bill."

But George and I are complete opposites — I'm quiet, he's talkative, I'm introverted, he's extroverted, I can pronounce nuclear.

I saw my in-laws down at the ranch over Easter. We like it down there. George didn't know much about ranches when we bought the place. Andover and Yale don't have a real strong ranching program. But I'm proud of George. He's learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What's worse, it was a male horse.

Now, of course, he spends his days clearing brush, cutting trails, taking down trees, or, as the girls call it, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. George's answer to any problem at the ranch is to cut it down with a chainsaw — which I think is why he and Cheney and Rumsfeld get along so well.

I thought these were pretty funny, actually.