Fun with wedding scriptures

My friend Susan, aka here as The Girl, is getting married in only TWO SHORT WEEKS. I don't know which is more exciting, that I get to see Susan in 2 weeks or that she is getting married to a man she cannot live without in 2 weeks. :-)
Anyway, she has been putting a lot of work not just into the dress, reception, photographer type of stuff but as much work into her actual nuptials. We expect no less from the Q-ster. She emailed me recently in a little bit of a panic because she still had one more scripture reading to pick out. Her priest certainly had given her the list of the usual readings, but Susan being Susan wanted to be sure that her readings were meaningful to her and Monty. She had already picked out her epistle and gospel reading, both amazing choices, but she was struggling with her Old Testament reading. So she asked me for some suggestions.
At first I looked into the lectionary for readings that corresponded with the feast of St. Boniface, the date and feast that has some special meanings for her. Unfortunately, the readings designated for St. Boniface's feast are more appropriate for a funeral. What a way to start things off, huh? The other problem was that feast this year fell around Pentecost, so there were no Old Testament readings to be had.
I googled some options and found some great readings. I also found some that make me laugh, which is why I am taking you through this story.
The first one that makes me laugh is from Hosea. I found people in some of the bridal websites who recommend this reading or suggest the language of this text for prayers or vows. It is Hosea 2:21-22:

I will espouse you to me forever: I will espouse you in right and in justice, in love and in mercy;
I will espouse you in fidelity, and you shall know the LORD.

Very nice sentiment, don't you think? However if you take this reading back into context, Hosea is talking of his wife, the drunken harlot Gomer. He's about to end her wicked ways. I wonder if the people that use this reading have, umm, similar stories behind their marriages. Like, I still want to marry you even though you are a drunken slut. Why oh why oh why do I find these things so funny?
Another reading I thought would be nice was from one of my favorite books, Song of Songs. One of the reasons I like Song of Songs is that the language is, well, a little hot and heavy. If you can't sweat a little in church when can you? hahaha. This reading comes from the second chapter and begins

Hark! my lover-here he comes springing across the mountains,leaping across the hills.
My lover is like a gazelleor a young stag

Again, beautiful language, until I said to Susan in case we need to have a redneck translation we cuold just shorten it to My Ole Man--he's such a Stud. I think she threw this one out because now it was impossible to have it and keep a straight face. For the rest of her life when she discusses her wedding, we really don't need her to say she used the Big Stud reading.

This last option, which she did not use, is the only serious one I am going to include here because it is so beautiful I can hardly stand it. I am including it here so that maybe someone will use it in their wedding. I kinda wish I had the opportunity to, but then I would have had to have had some sort of dressy guest reception wedding thing, and I don't think I would have EVER survived that sort of ordeal. This is also from Song of Songs, 8:6-7.

Set me as a seal on your heart,as a seal on your arm;For stern as death is love,relentless as the nether world is devotion;its flames are a blazing fire.
Deep waters cannot quench love,nor floods sweep it away.Were one to offer all he owns to purchase love,he would be roundly mocked.

The reading that Susan did end up choosing is fantastic and fitting. I hope everyone there pays close attention, because her Liturgy of the Word is going to be extraordinary. (It's up to her if she wants to share what she has lined up...I don't want to jinx anything or ruin the surprise if anyone that may read this isn't supposed to know)

Now if we can just nail down those petitions.............